Waiting for your adoption is never easy – it’s a long process, and it’s incredibly emotional. If you’re waiting for your adoption during the holidays, it can be even more challenging. You’ll see friends and family members you don’t see often, and inevitably, you’ll get questions about your adoption and your family. Seeing other friends and family members celebrating with their children can be tough as well.
We wanted to share a list of tips to help all the waiting families out there prepare for the holiday season, and hopefully help make the holiday wait a bit less stressful.
Keep yourself busy, but don’t do too much
Keeping yourself busy is one of the best says to keep your mind off your wait for the adoption, but it’s even more effective during the holidays. There’s so much more going on, between decorating your house, cooking, shopping, visiting friends and family, traveling, and attending parties. If you’re having a hard time finding something to do, ask friends and family if they need help with anything – during the holidays, there’s always something to do!
Pace yourself, though – you don’t want to get overwhelmed. It’s too easy to take on too much during the holidays, and adding more stress is exactly the opposite of what you’re trying to do. Keep your self preoccupied, not stressed out to keep up with all of your commitments.
It’s OK to acknowledge how you feel
Waiting for an adoption is always an emotional roller coaster, with feelings ranging from anticipation to happiness to anxiety or even fear. During the holidays, these feelings can be even more complicated, and awkward social gatherings can magnify your feelings. Make sure you’re paying attention to your feelings – it’s perfectly normal to run through a wide range of emotions. Be aware of how your feelings might affect your interactions with others, or how their behavior might influence your feelings.
If you’re in a stressful situation, it’s OK to step outside and take a break. You might even want to take some time to visit a therapist or call your adoption agency. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Know what you’re going to say
You know that friends and family members will ask you about your adoption, or mention something about it that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Talk to your spouse and plan out your responses in advance. If you know what you’re going to say, it’s much easier to answer the awkward questions. It’s a good idea to practice your answers beforehand as well.
Unless your family or friends have gone through and adoption before, they’ll have no idea what it’s like, and they’re genuinely curious… They just don’t realize that you might not be entirely comfortable answering certain questions You’ll be much less stressed about attending parties if you plan your answers to any adoption questions.
Focus on your family
Your spouse is your partner, and you’re in this together. If you already have children, they’re part of the team as well. Open communication really helps reduce the stress of waiting for your adoption. Talk together about everyone’s feelings, what you’ll say to others, how you’ll handle family gatherings, and what’s OK to talk about with others.
Don’t get sucked into your own feelings – remember that everyone in your family is on the same journey with you. Make sure you spend time alone with your family, and focus on everyone’s health and mental well-being. Eat well, get sleep, and spend time together.
Lifetree can help too!
It’s actually the entire reason we’re here – to help you through your adoption. If you’re feeling stressed about your wait or you’re not sure how you’ll handle the holidays, give us a call. We’re here to help you every step of the way! Call Robin any time at 972-491-3333.