Tips for Your First Call With a Birth Mother

The adoption process can be complicated and emotional, but one of the most exciting (yet nerve-wracking) moments in the process is your first call with a birth mother. It’s a momentous call, and if it goes well, it could change your life forever. It’s important to remember that the birth mother is just as nervous as you are, so we’ve put together this list of tips to help you calm your nerves so your first conversation goes well.

Don’t be afraid to show your excitement

The birth mother has checked out multiple families, and either narrowed her choice to a few, or already chosen you. Don’t be afraid to let your excitement show! She wants to know that you’re happy and excited to be her baby’s parents.

Be yourself – show her who you are!

She already likes what she’s seen and heard about you – let her know who you are. If you let your true self shine, she’ll see the person behind the profile, and she’ll feel more comfortable with her decision.

Ask her why she chose you

You worked hard to put your profile together – don’t be afraid to ask the birth mother what attracted her to you. It’s helpful to know why you stood out and why she made her choice.

Try to really get to know her

You don’t want to get too personal, but there’s nothing wrong with asking her a few basic questions about herself. Ask what she’s interested in, what she does for fun, and other high-level questions that let you know who she is.

Ask about her pregnancy

Showing interest in her pregnancy and that you care about her baby already helps reinforce her decision. Ask how she’s been feeling, if she’s had any crazy cravings, how her doctor’s appointments have been going – anything that helps you get to know her and know more about her pregnancy.

Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have an answer

She’s going to be asking questions too – and it’s perfectly OK if you don’t have all the answers. Simply let her know that you don’t have the answer and you’ll be getting back to her shortly.

If you have any other questions about the first time you talk to your birth mother, we’re here to help! Call Lifetree any time at 972-491-3333, we’re always here to help with anything you need, throughout your adoption process!